Posted May 2, Reviewed by Kaja Perina.
Whether your obsession about someone is a of love or " addiction? Initial attraction stirs up neurotransmitters and hormones that create the excitement of infatuation and a strong desire to be close and sexual with the person.
Addictive relationships – 15 s you might be in one
These chemicals and our emotional and psychological make-up can cause us to obfuscate reality and idealize the object of our attraction. Time spent in fantasy fuels our craving to be with him or her. Sex releases oxytocinthe love chemical that makes us want to nest with our partner. As we get to know our lover, we may want to spend more or less time together, depending on what we learn.
At this juncture, our brain chemicals as well as our attachment style and psychological issues can lead us to become attached through a What is an addictive relationship or love addiction that feels like love, but is more driven by our need for the chemical rush to avoid feelings of abandonmentdepressionand low self-esteem.
The psychology of addictive relationships
We may remain attached and even crave our partner, but our discomfort or unhappiness grows. Instead of focusing on that, our hunger to be with him or her takes center stage, despite the fact that disturbing facts or character traits arise that are hard to ignore. We may feel What is an addictive relationship or neglected, unsafe or disrespected, or discover that our partner is unreliable, or lies, manipulates, rages, has secrets, or has a major problem, such as drug addiction or serious legal or financial troubles. Increasingly, we hide our worries and doubts and rely on sex, romance, and fantasy to sustain the relationship.
These are s of addiction. However, true love does require that we recognize our separateness and love our mate for who he or she truly is.
Addictive relationships: what are they and how do we break free from them?
As the relationship grows, we develop trust and greater closeness. Instead of trying to change our partner, we accept him or her. We want to share more of our time and life together, including our problems and friends and family. Love and an unhealthy attachment may coexist or be hard to differentiate. Because with addiction, we tend to idealize and often happily self-sacrifice for our partner.
Constantly chasing the euphoria of new love? you might be ‘addicted’
Denial is a symptom of addiction and supports a compulsion to cling to the relationship. Facing the truth would create inner conflict about our fear of emptiness and lonelinesswhich underlie addiction. Healthy relationships and addictive ones have very different trajectories.
Contrast the stages of addictive and healthy relationships:. Addictive relationships may include sex addictionand romance, relationship, and love addiction. Lust and love and love and addiction can overlap. When we heal, we can see whether love remains.
We might even leave an unhealthy relationship and still love our ex. Meanwhile, some things are knowable:.
Sometimes abstinence from dating for a while can help break the cycle of obsessions and compulsions revolving around the other person. Support of a Twelve Step program is highly recommended, because abstinence is so difficult.
If you continue to date, look out for s of narcissism and emotional unavailability. There is hope and a way out.
How to leave an addictive relationship – you’re my obsession
Recovery includes:. Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, is a d marriage and family therapist and an expert and author on relationships and codependency. Ego and self-serving biases shape the life story we share with the world—and with ourselves.
The good news: An internal reckoning will help us better comprehend who we truly are. Addiction Healthy Love vs. Addiction: 10 s of Addictive Love Learn the difference between lust, love and addiction.
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